Central Michigan Life

Adam Trumble Editor in Chief [Click to enlarge]

Three years ago my mom’s ex-husband crossed the line and hit her.

The verbal abuse had gone too far this time — it turned into violence, a growing problem in society and here at CMU.

The incident started as a disagreement and escalated as calm talking turned into pushing and shoving.

My mom, fearing the man she married may hit her, ran into her bedroom and locked the door.

Not willing to let the situation cool, like experts suggest, he tore the door of the frame and proceeded to trap her into a corner.

She dialed 911 from the landline but he ripped it out of the wall before the call went through. She called my phone from her cell.

He threw the phone to the ground, but didn’t break it.

I knew what was happening.

The Midland Police Department beat me to my house by five minutes.

Verbal abuse gone too far.

Steve Thompson, CMU Sexual Aggression Services coordinator, said at the high school and college level verbal abuse occurs in about one in five relationships.

After college, verbal abuse occurs in one in three relationships and marriages.

Thompson said the abuse starts small with “guys making up the rules to a game she can’t win.”

Eventually it turns into more severe put-downs and who knows where it could go from there.

Sometimes it doesn’t go past put-downs, he said. Pinpointing the number of verbally abusive relationships that cross the line into violence is difficult, but Thompson said in some cases verbal abuse is more damaging.

My mom dealt with my dad’s put-downs for 19 years and then dealt with it from her ex husband for a year before ending it.

She finally saw the light, unfortunately it was too late.

Others can learn from my mother — Don’t let the verbal abuse go too far.

All are at fault. It is a two-way street. Women abuse men too. It is recognizing and solving the problem before anyone gets hurt, mentally or physically, that’s important.

Thompson recommends those dealing with abuse problems contact Sexual Aggression Peer Advocates. SAPA has a crisis line operated by 35 students, who volunteer to provide confidential support to friends and family of and victims of sexual assault, domestic violence, stalking, harassment, child abuse and other forms of sexual aggression.

SAPA will help those in need get help.

The can be reached at 774-2255 or at sapa@cmich.edu. The group’s Web site is www.sapa.cmich.edu.

Life Editor Adam Trumble can be reached for comment at editor@cm-life.com.

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